Bufo: My Journey and Discoveries from Source

Updated: May 1, 2020

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Bufo (the Colorado River Toad) is known as the “toad medicine” because its’ DNA contains the strongest natural form of 5-meO-DMT. Di-methyl-tryptamine, also known as “The Spirit Molecule” or the neurochemical released during near death and death experiences, and Bufotenin a tryptamine derivative related to the neurotransmitter serotonin. It is found in some toads, mushrooms, higher plants and mammals. Bufotenin is similar in chemical structure to the psychedelic psilocin, which is found in psychedelic mushrooms. Bufotenin was first isolated from toad skin, and named by the Austrian chemist Handovsky at the University of Prague during WWI. Its’ structure was confirmed in 1934.

Albert Most, founder of the Church of the Toad of Light, introduced bufo as a spiritual medicine, detailing how to extract and smoke the secretions. He authored the book titled “Bufo Alvarius: The psychedelic Toad of the Sonoran Desert.” Three months later, an opportunity presented itself to try this sacred medicine and the experience of it was something I could only describe as “tasting infinity.”

Bufo is administered as a resin which is heated in a glass pipe and then heated until it forms a steam with a butane lighter. The smoke is then inhaled by the journeymen and then the adventure begins. A significant dose of bufo will result in a 20-30 minute psychedelic experience accompanied by experiencing, for most, a warming sensation, euphoria, and strong visual and auditory hallucinations.


Before we get into it, I want to rewind and begin the story of my bufo journey. Skipping back in time to a couple months prior to partaking of the medicine. Bufo came to me several times in reoccurring dream sequences. Admittedly, I wasn’t really aware of Bufo as a medicine prior to these dreams, or what I’d prefer to call experiences since they were so detailed and vivid, with the toad.

On a bright snowy Sunday morning in December, I began to write my first dream journal entry. I had such a somatic experience with this dream that I found it imperative to document. As a lucid dreamer, it wasn’t unusual for me to remember details of dreams, but this experience was much more intense than any other dreams I had. What I wrote in my journal that day, went as follows.


I found myself wandering aimlessly in a dark wood where the branches of bark hummed a deep guttural tone. The branches of the skyscraper height trees interwove themselves in beautiful lattices of sacred geometry high in the sky above me. I could feel the cool breeze dance across my skin like silk in the wind. As I bore witness to the surroundings around me, digesting mentally all of the pigmented stimuli, I tilted my head back parallel to the earth below me and peered up into the sky. The stars were shining bright like fireflies in the distance. A halo-like, kaleidoscopic aurora borealis glided across the sky like a light sheer fabric blowing in a high velocity wind which only the sky could feel. Vacillating with the wind that echoed through the trees, the stars shimmered a beautiful silver light which echoed around the neon lichen, and leaves of the thick stone-like bark coating the ancient trees. Much like a giant flashlight beam, forming a spotlight of vertical lines extending down from sky and penetrating the earthen ground below my feet. These beacons illuminated the forest path, revealing the landscape as I walked within it. I felt as if I was gliding effortlessly through this landscape. Although I was aware of my body, I did not feel like I needed to exert any energy to move, or to even breathe for that matter. It was as if I was on an energetic horizontal escalator, much like those conveyor belt escalators in the airport.

As I wandered, I began to pick up my pace, running through the forest path glimmering before me. I leapt over roots and rock, noticing as I quickened my pace, the bark of the trees radiating light blue glowing symbols. Each symbol directing me toward where I felt I was being guided. It appeared as if the trees themselves were lighted from below with a lightening-like root system turbining and beaming from within them a molten lava electric blue afterglow. I could feel the blue luminosity radiate below my feet with each step. The earth felt warm on my bare feet, and I noticed how it rippled out like the dance of raindrops on still water.

I accelerated more, following the light symbols revealed to me in the trees. In the distance I noticed a particularly large tree with a golden gateway in the center of it. It was vaulted like a gothic cathedral. Full of white light flying buttresses. I floated inside noticing the pulsing of white and golden light shimmering like crystal clear translucent sand floating around me. I could no longer hear the wind rattling the leaves and the architecture around me shifted into a beautiful temple. In the distance, I heard a song. A familiar echo of a lullaby I thought I had heard before, but could not recall the name. I followed this sound and found myself moving down a long corridor. At the end of the corridor sat a giant toad. As I approached, it let out a deep soothing hum, which grew in intensity as I glided closer. Although I was far away, the sound reverberated so deep, it rattled my ribcage and bones.

In an instant, I felt myself standing in front of the toad, which also radiated out a golden white light hue much like the cathedral structures surrounding it. The toad opened its’ massive mouth as if presenting itself like a doorway. I entered the toad’s mouth, slowly stepping inside. As I moved through, the scenery transformed around me, revealing a view of multiple galaxies. Some magenta and spiraling, others silver, gold, green, sapphire blue and violet. I noticed as comets and shooting stars shimmered by. I was standing on a rainbow aura-crystal-like platform. I could see through it, noticing the infinite stars beneath my feet and above my head in all directions. I felt my heart heat up and like a super nova I lifted off the platform exploding out into light. Growing into infinity, in all directions, expanding, and growing brighter than the light of the brightest sun, yet my eyes did not feel strained at all. This brilliant light increased its hue and vibrancy exponentially with each microsecond and within the flash my eyes would jerk open and just like that, I woke up. I would have this dream repeatedly for three months before my Bufo experience.


As I sat in front of the medicine woman before me, I felt an intense sense of anxiety. I leaned into this anxiety with my breath and let out a big exhale. Trying to slow down my parasympathetic stress response, I focused on the sound of my heartbeat, attempting to slow it down. The medicine woman was wearing a warm smile on her face. She held up a prayer on a piece of paper and instructed me to read it aloud. It was a beautiful poem about the infinity of love. I felt myself welling up with tears as I read it. Feeling the love of the words I read pouring into my heart. She asked me my intentions. I replied “to be love, to remember myself and my wisdom and to recall with clarity the wisdom I feel being birthed from me, to bring it back with me, to be able to share this wisdom and to fulfill my duty and purpose here on Earth as a healer and sacred scribe to the stars.” She smiled and instructed me on how to inhale the Bufo. She told me to take a slow 10 second inhale, as if I was sucking through a straw. She had me practice once and then had me inhale the medicine.

The resin tasted vaguely of the smell of mothballs, a musky earthen taste. I could almost sense within it a subtle taste of the Jasmine flower. I had never tasted anything like it. It was as if the cereal Sugar Smacks had been drenched in a light coat of dusty jasmine pollen.

Through my anxiety, I finished taking a big inhale. “Surrender” the medicine woman whispered to me. I felt a warm rush lightning rod through my body as if igniting my soul spark into an infinite array of the brightest light I had ever witnessed. I leaned back and the effects hit almost immediately. I closed my eyes, feeling my legs and arms being laid out in a star shape by the shamans. My two legs spread hip distance apart with my arms stretched upward and outward like tree branches cupping the sun. As they moved me, I witnessed what I can only describe as the experience of “tasting infinity.”

The light ignition of my soul super nova’d out in all directions much like witnessing a shimmering atomic sacred geometric bomb radiating out and becoming everything. I could feel my soul expanding into a giant galaxy. I thought to myself “I’m a star, I’m a star.” Electronic hums, digital orchestral tones and sounds began to fill my ears, and the sound of the toad began to sing my soul explosion outward outside of my chest. I felt the sounds reverberate around me as if I was surrounded by infinite wings which flapped so intensely it felt like a million or more helicopters were surround sounding me. At this point, I understood why when people had near death experiences that they called it the “white light.” It was indeed the brightest light I had ever witnessed and yet, I had no thought to look away or to shield my eyes.

There were many more colors then white though. Some acted like a translucent white water-like shimmering blue. Much like witnessing the sparkling white light which radiates off of the surface of wind-blown water. It was forming and dancing into sacred mandala like symmetry radiating out. There were abalone-shell like colors and colors I had never witnessed before. Much like a lavender sheen magenta with lichen electric green overlay. I tasted infinity in this moment. The most delicious, orgasmic, taste. I felt like every cell in my being, every vibrating particle was drinking up this sweet nectar. I vibrated into particle in this moment. Like an infinitesimal puff ball of crystalline self-illuminated light sand. I could feel myself expanding and leaving my body. A sensation which I can only describe as a full-bodied exhale, an almost orgasmic experience radiated through me. I felt this exhale deep within my heart and then simultaneously radiating outward of the pupils of my eyes. I noticed a white shimmering web radiate out of my body. I was watching myself outside of my body now. A light beam exited my heart and then both pupils of my eyes. As they radiated upwards outside of my body, they began to intertwine. Creating a DNA helix-like shape. I felt my soul being pulled into this shape. It began to tornado around me, accelerating in speed and increasing in warmth, and then it happened.

I felt as if I became an exploding sun, its warmth filling up my body. Radiating throughout the earth, the galaxies. I felt myself being wisped through the dimensions. As if I was being pulled up and out simultaneously through a cosmic magnetic pulley system. My mind told me I was moving up, but in my heart I know I was spiraling up and out in all directions simultaneously. Like an expanding sphere of light growing in all direction. With my eyes closed, I noticed that I could see simultaneously in all directions. Above, below, forward, behind, side to side. I found myself hearing the word “zenith” being echoed around me while simultaneous electronic light tones, high and low pitched tones, a universal jungle symphony singing in a deep hum. I could hear the original source tone emanating and carrying the hums of the multiverses. The deepest tone, I’m not sure I could ever replicate. It vibrated me to my core and vibrated out all particles of the universe. Like a sonic banshee roar lullaby, which broke apart all density. The tone between atoms, molecule, sound and light particle s-waves.

As I traveled within these tones and colors of light, which I now discern was my source stream, I noticed myself being ejected into a clear crystal quartz temple. Inside it sacred geometric light patterns like white-light laser beams cross haired upwards forming gothic cathedral flying buttress-like geometries above where I seemingly floated. As I peered upwards within this temple space, this ceiling fractaled out into glass encased skyscraper-like elevator levels, much like the appearance of phantoms inside a well formed quartz crystal. I felt myself continue to radiate outward and upward feeling a click, click, click like sensation as I was pulled up a rapid elevator. With each dimension I rocket launched up out of, I was able to witness its’ scenery. First, a blissful earth like place full of green plush life, butterflies, animals, foliage and mandala like structured city systems with solar paneled like side structures of the buildings it formed. No 90 degree angles were to be found in any structures. Plants grew in geometries and all the structures looked like some sort of geodesic dome or diamond shape. Click, click, click I was ascending further up, up, up. With bright flashes of light and whisping, whirling light patterns and time accelerations of realities with no time-response delay. A realm in which thought was readily made manifest. For instance, an individual thinking of the word “fountain” and a “fountain” forming instantaneously around the individual. A dimension of far more complex virtual reality systems in which individuals could try on or experience each other’s consciousness completely further leading to the unification of the fractalized source soul. The highest honors in these societies was to experience the fullest capacities of family systems, cultures, ancestors and lineages.

Then, like a sonic boom, I felt myself pause for a moment. I was in a round dark space. In the center of this space, the most illuminated bright light living organism appeared. Its ganglial structure reaching up much like neuro circuitry dendritic glial cells with its axons reaching upward and downward into infinity. This organism’s seeming skin was translucent in hue much like a white pearlescent mother of pearl shell. Its’ skin almost appeared to have a floating oil with a rainbow bubble-like hue moving on top of the surface. Below this seeming skin and oil were lightening-like source streams moving upward and downwards within it like electricity running through the cosmic electric cording of the universe, only totally visible and transparent. This organism was so powerful. It hummed and acted much like a giant galactic tesla coil. Reverberating from it tones to dissipate some light streams back into the opalescent oil-like particles which strung together into seeming spherical, all-encompassing ocean wave like frequency. I knew this was source, this ocean was infinity. I witnessed light beings, much like the light beings the artist Brian Froud depicts in some of his oracle cards whizzing around me. I was in awe of their exquisite beauty and of the beauty around me. I asked mentally or rather telepathically who they were, as they approached I had this knowing in my mind that they were the “Mantid” beings.

They told me that they were the “ancient elementals and that they and many star nations had gathered around to help birth Gaia, Pachamama, our home planet’s soul.” They went on to explain the giant organism in the center of the space I was floating in “this is what holds your source streams, what you may refer to as the spirit, the soul, or the light body. Your source stream is infinite, it contains all ever present now memories. Those, which those beings in time refer to has past, present and future recall. We simply refer to it as “soul memory.” With each incarnation or election to incarnate into time, each being is sucked back into this organism and then broadcasted down into their own unique incarnation.” As they were speaking to me telepathically and through my heart, I was witnessing the “afterlife” and “constructions of incarnations simultaneously. Witnessing this organism transmute a light source stream into the infinite particles radiating outside itself into a spherical ocean current. This is what it was like to become infinite, to abandon all form, and to become source. As a light stream began to beam like a hairlike shimmering pigment within the ocean, I could sense that consciousness requesting to incarnate. As it began to spin into a hairlike shape, it turned into a DNA like helix shape. I witnessed the mantid beings take their 4 fingers and energetically spread these DNA strands apart. Supplanting a crystalline-like seed, or stone into the interior of the DNA-like helical strands, what I now understand to be “starseeds.” As these seeds were placed inside the helix, a sacred geometry formed inside radiating out to form the energetic blueprints of the light body soul. A mandala, or snowflake like geometry. Each one with its own unique source tones and geometry. The organism in the center of the space would emit certain combinations of tones and with each reverberation, the light body blueprints would enhance their particles becoming denser with each pulsing sensation until the being was ready to be sucked back into the skin like opalescent structure of the organism and transmitted downward to their incarnation.

I stayed there for a while, with the Mantids, asking about earth. The formation of Gaia. They explained that when planets are birthed, it alters to biology and magnetic pulls and symmetries of the universes. They explained that in the past, an agreement had been made between interplanetary counsels to form the earth. They explained that many planetary shamans had prophesied of the desire of a being to be birthed. It wished to carry with it many species and diversities, to almost act as a peace treaty of sorts between the star nations. An organismal step toward unity of the tribes at large and of the fractals of the souls which would be extensions of and inhabit it.

I saw myself as one of the tribesmen. I had a rainbow like hue across the top of my face. With dark blue and electric green tribal markings extending down from the center of my lip to my heart. I had white light sun like electrode jewels radiating out in drops like sun radiating out of my eyes. My eyes were a silver, amber like gold, with ocean wave like geometries with lavender and lime green radiating in a spherical shape around the centers of my pupils. Much to my surprise, I did my makeup similarly to this the day of my journey.

I remembered the tribes gathering around this organism. Holding many vision quests, dream journeys and meditations around it to connect with the being Gaia which was wanting to be birthed. Each galactic tribesman would journey and then share what they had witnessed. Sharing the light code technologies needed to transmit their tribal ancestry and information within the key codes held within the DNA like light structures. Orion, Arcturus, Pleiades, Mantid, Lemurian, Sirian, Lyran Bellatrix, Rigel and many other interplanetary representatives and engineers gathered round. Sirian, Arcturian knowledge of pyramid-like structures and technologies were instilled inside one lineages DNA, Lemurian containing stone henge-like remembering and teachings within them. Orion, integrating the remembering’s of multiple languages and tongues and the language between mushrooms (especially the psychedelic ones) and trees, the language neuro circuitry of the elements. Lyran technologies and temple like structures were infused into DNA as well with hill-like and plateau like structures much like the Maya. The scenery fast forwarded and I saw a massive gathering of tribes reverberating chants and source tones around the organism to help the organism form the massive being who was becoming birthed. Each source chant and tone increasing the density of the planet. I witnessed in what seemed like seconds, the evolution of the earth. First starting out as a hot, molten red glowing organism, then the water tones were birthed cooling the crust into a dark brown black, additional tones increased life forms. The nations were transposing the source life form tones from their planets onto Gaia. The Gaia song grew louder and reverberated and soon more tribes gathered.

Pangea was formed and then civilizations. The unity I felt during these soul songs was beyond anything I could describe. I felt infinity, infinite love and peace. I turned to the Mantids observing the way they looked. They had a lime green iridescent like sheen on their skin (very similar to the one on top of the organismal skin in the center of the space). Humanoid looking in nature. They had skin surface similar to humans. I noticed they only had 4 fingers which were long. They appeared very tall, almost like giants. Perhaps 20 feet tall or larger, it was hard to tell exactly how tall they were. Some had wisps of light radiating off of them much like catfish like whiskers. These devices sort of looked like pincers of the praying mantis, but internally I knew they were translators which helped these beings to speak with different races and to help radiate out source-tones much like a microphone to clear, cleanse and purify their energy fields and the energy fields of the spaces around them. I could tell they were like energetic antennae very sensitive to the barometric pressure dips and peaks. I looked into their eyes, and noticed how bright their auras were. This bright light frequency made them look floaty and like they were walking through water. Much like an astronaut would appear in zero gravity. Their eyes were larger than humans and their pupils were a dark midnight like blue and had a galaxy of silver sparkle to them. On the top coating of their eyes, much like water lubricates human eyes was a bubble like oil. Which appeared to have a rainbow opalescence much like oil floating on top of black water. Their cheek bones much more exaggerated than humans and the shape of their head more like that of a praying mantis. Telepathy had made it so that their mouth was smaller evolutionarily. With less need for vocal communication, it appeared as if the “younger ones” had smaller mandibles than the “older ones.” I could tell they didn’t age, but rather upgraded energetically and with each upgrade a newer adaptation of biology.

Looking into the Mantid’s eyes, I heard telepathically in my mind “and this is only for the conscious dimensional realms. The realms where that what you call “consciousness” and “thought” are necessary. We now send you this transmission for supraconsciousness, the ecstatic state of simply being, without the need for an intelligence or mind to comprehend. Bye now.”

I felt my soul like superman taking off from this space and blasting up out of the bottom of another galaxy. This space was bright and simultaneously dark. Inside the apex of it a dark space, whirling around it a brilliant light and in that instant I felt my infinity melt like hot butter into everything and it all. 0Beyond mind, beyond the need for anything, the sacred pause, the pause between breaths, the subatomic infinity of infinities. I was it all, all encompassing, and ever present, timeless, warmed sugar ocean wave.

I began to fall, shrinking down. Falling, falling, falling, and feeling as if I had jumped of the Zenith of the universe. As if I was free falling sand melting back into my chakra centers like a crystalline sand Niagara waterfall. Falling into myself and turbining down and radiating out from the center of my chakras falling further into the infinity within myself. My mind began to try to condense my experience, to try and put meaning or words to it all. I felt a deep despair for leaving there as I returned. A deep sadness overwhelmed and simultaneously a bottomless love. As I began to fall within myself, I could sense the sadness of the silent ones of the planet. Of the abuse that was never heard, remembered, of all the children who didn’t have the ability to speak, of the cruelty to the land and I began to sing for them. To lay the suffering to rest. Telling them I would remember them, that I would carry their song, their memories on my wings repeating to them “I love you, just sleep now, just sleep now, until the time comes to let loose creation’s roar, just sleep now, I love you, just sleep now. When no one remembers you or hears you I will remember and hear your silent cries, but now just peace, just sleep now, just sleep now.” I let out a wail, a deep guttural cry “I’ll miss you, just sleep now, I love you, just sleep now, just sleep now.” I felt a nausea build up in me, a resistance, “I don’t want to let them go,” I said. “But I know what they have to look forward to, contracts complete. Just sleep now, I love you, I let you go, contracts complete, just sleep now, just sleep now.” I returned back to my fully conscious state, I looked at the people surrounding me. Tears streaming down my face. I looked into each and every one of their eyes and said “I love you.”


It took me about two weeks to download all of the visions I just shared with you from my journey with the sacred toad medicine. It took my mind quite a while to break into digestible bits the experience I just described. It was so detailed, it was a lot for my brain to comprehend, download, organize and store. The after effects of the medicine were quite a journey to experience. Even as I type this out now, a month later, every time I close my eyes or blink them I see sacred geometry.

I did bufo in the early afternoon in sunlight in a geodesic dome with a large window extending to the view of a snow dusted mountain. That night, as I laid in bed, I could feel myself being pulled back up to source, to the explosive super-nova feeling I had experienced while on the toad medicine. It frightened me, because I felt so big. I struggled to get back into my body because of my size, and yet did not want to get back into it simultaneously. This feeling of being that far out of body was foreign territory to me. Although mentally I was in different realms on a regular basis, and had astral projected before, I had never had such a physical experience of the ejection of my soul from my body in this way. Ultimately I figured out how to melt back into my body. “You are already your body, you are infinity, just melt back into it.” The thought flowed into my head like a train aligning on a track.”

For a few days, I felt waves of sadness hit me from missing “home” that infinite space I had been transported to. The feeling of tasting infinity was flickering from my being and I mourned it. Internally I could feel my DNA being altered and recalibrated. As if I had been broken apart and then put back together in another more aligned shape and resonant tone. I felt like my energy field, my aura, before bufo was like a snow globe. Shaken up and moving dense energies around me like large chunks of snow floating and covering the exterior of the snow globe in a sheer sticky sheet of dust.

Post bufo, I felt more like a clear crystal ball. No dust, just shiny. No snow, or dense chunks of energy, just crystal clear quartz, refracting and radiating out rainbow light. I know I’ll never be the same. I can never go back. When one tastes infinity, one’s soul is transmuted and healed and the knowing that infinity can heal any ailment returns to your memory. You realize you can never be un-whole. I can never not be everything.

So, it is with these parting thoughts that I leave you with as you listen to my words in a podcast or read it on a blogpost. First, the definition of “Zenith”

“The time at which something is most powerful or successful, the highest point, the top, the peace, the pinnacle the apex, the vertex, the crown, the climax, the meridian flower, the point in the sky of celestial sphere directly above an observer, the highest point reached by a celestial or other object, the space above or beyond the stars.”

With the realization cemented into my being from bufo that we are light bound into living matter. I leave you with this question, “Is there a difference between reality and imagination?”

Book your healing session at: www.JillianAndrulli.com

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